Anti-Social Training

By | March 20th, 2017|Humor, New York, Short Story|

As my delayed 5:37 train out of New York rolled into Newark’s Penn Station, I was feeling the brunt of a fierce but familiar bi-temple headache.  As I stood to leave the train, I saw my good friend the Web Developer in the next car. Before he could look my way, I ducked into the safety of the dimly lit vestibule. My withdrawal had nothing to do with monies owed or a tawdry affair gone sour—it was all about me. I’m what Dr. Phil might call a “serial avoider.” When it came to the commuter social scene, I didn’t [...]

Going Glossophobic

By | November 30th, 2016|Humor, Short Story|

[This piece was originally published summer of 2011 in the now shuttered--which I don't think was my fault--New York Press, a free "throwaway" paper available in some of the finest sleazy dive bars in the city. And, if you managed to make it all the way to the back page, you would have found, in print, my freshly poured heart and soul... directly across from "24-hour Erotic Massage" and "men seeking ???"] When Gary, my boss, said in passing, “Oh, John wants you to give a presentation on mobile technology for the IT department's summit in March,” I was waiting [...]

Everything For A Reason

By | November 28th, 2016|Early Years, Short Story|

Entering the mood-lit cafeteria-turned-dance floor, I ducked under the hanging crepe paper to the relative safety and anonymity of a dark corner. I scanned the room. It was mostly jocks, cheerleaders, and an assortment of other popular people.  No one I actually knew. They were paired up or in groups, laughing and joking. It took all of 5 minutes to realize I didn't belong. Three decades later, it’s a memory so vivid I could almost smell Old Spice on polyester and the residual scent of just-smoked weed.  “Steve – is one of your classmates looking for you?”  I [...]

Not Well Done

By | November 25th, 2016|Humor, Short Story|

I worry a lot.  It’s most likely something I got from my mother. She worries…she worries when I worry, and she worries when I don’t.  I’ve inherited her innate ability to know when to worry, and worry at times there’s nothing to worry about (the calm before the worry storm). It’s worked—the worrying I mean.  It’s kept me from getting into trouble from swallowing gum and gluing my insides together, or from going blind sitting too close to the TV.  Even the clean underwear thing worked.  Years ago, when I was in that serious car accident, I didn’t have [...]